Oooh...Pretty...Shiny fluffy feathery things. That's pretty much all that was going through my head when I found myself in the wardrobe at Steve Harts Studio. A walk in room filled with everything a woman could need to transform into a Burlesque Queen. Corsets in a multitude of sizes and colours, Underwear  in a veritable rainbow of satins and silks and whole rails of items that I instantly desired. Not to mention a couple of other items to provide the cherry on top of the sequin Sunday. Oh and the thing I really loved is that the stock came from some of burlesque favourite shops, No cheap knock off Primani goodies, this is What Katie Did, Fairy Gothmother and Agent Provocateur territory.

I spent a Sunday playing on a trapeze, Riding a Rocking horse and just generally having a ball. I was in Slough to model some Donna Jane Coets and we were in 'Dress me up and Shoot me'. Steve Hart's Studio a giant Burlesque themed dressing up photo studio. This is the place to go if you've ever wanted to dress up and channel your inner pin up, pose in a giant Martini Glass or just want an excuse to have a giggly photoshoot with your friends while looking absolutely amazing.

It's a perfect place for those who maybe don't get a chance to wear sequins and feathers on a regular basis - you turn up, get pampered and preened and are then shown how to pose in a flattering way that celebrates your body - Gok Wan eat your heart out - How to look Good Naked.This is how to look Good Showgirl Style. 

Oh and then at the end of it, you know you're going to have some simply amazing photos to remind you that you can still play dress up - at any age. 

I had an absolute blast, and can't wait to show the images. Although I am now left wanting a Carousel Rocking horse...and a Trapeze...and a Martini Glass. Com'n how fabulous would it be to do my Stig Act finishing in a giant Martini Glass? With a Car sponge? Time to start a Martini Glass fund I think.

And since Steve is an absolute sweetheart, he's given me an offer to pass on to you. Mention 'Eris' when you're booking for groups of 4 or more. And you'll be able to book  for just £99 each, including a free 10”x8” print for each person.  The advertised price is £250 plus £100 for each additional guest, so that’s a saving of £150.

I like vintage…but there is a case of taking it too far. Looks like some people in Iowa are hoping to tap into the golden era of prudery.
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=iowa%20citation%20burlesque&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CBwQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fjezebel.com%2F5846800%2Fburlesque-show-cited-for-accidental-breast%2Bflashing&ei=s4LUTo_FBMbV0QGA2dXdAQ&usg=AFQjCNGShH0ZHWd_ngh0LHlB0aXI_C9fWA
            Over here on the British side of the pond, we have (justly or not) a very mixed idea of American values. It’s a huge nation so it’s not surprising that values appear mixed. It is after all the country where you have people who live like it’s 1700 with people who like their in a MTV video. But we also get the overall impression (ignoring the fundamentalists) of a culture with a live and let live ideal. A overall feeling of ‘hey, that’s not for me…but if you want to live your life on a pogo stick then knock yourself out. And good for you for going for it’. I’m sure it’s not all as clear cut as that, but seeing as we’re now in the 20th century I was still surprised to read about the burlesque performers cited for prohibited acts.

            It’s no longer the golden age of burlesque where you have the Minskys of new york being pulled in to court on a regular basis to defend their shows (or to provide the courtroom a good laugh). Reading the Minsky books you get an idea of the humour the minskys felt at the time – not only were the judges on their side, but it provided amazing advertising. But now? There is no longer a cop warning light system – we no longer  design costumes with ‘privacy curtains’ to satisfy censors and as for raciness, you can find a music video within minutes that could be considered more indecent. 

         
            But for someone who decided to go and see ‘The Naughtiest show in Iowa’ and then discover that they think a womans body is indecent and should not be shown seems a bit strange. No matter that one of the performers concerned had a costume malfunction or that quite frankly when we get down to it, they only showed their chests, this person felt the need to report it to the police who seemed to be quite happy to do their duty (at the cost of the $20 ticket price to the tax payer) and issue the citations. Well I suppose they couldn’t ignore it – after all the instigator had made sure he had his evedence by recording and a citation is as good a way to advertise now as it was back then so hopefully they’ll find a way to use it to their advantage – if they can convince the owner that is…

Turns out then when I use phrases like ‘ Pasties up’ and Merkins – I’m in the minority of the english speaking world – who’d have thought? Well until The oxford dictionary starts hanging around backstage I thought I’d create a quick reference guide/Glossery for those who can’t be bothered to google random phrases – or for where google has been no help what so ever. Some of these terms have probably been used in the theatre since the first curtain up.

So here you go – the random glossery of british burlesque

Ad Lib — Short for "ad libitum" (latin), meaning "at will": to perform language or business made up by a performer on the spot (and not rehearsed or in the script). Doing an ad lib might be necessary (to disguise some problem, like another performer forgetting a line).

American strip – refers to a style of burlesque that tends to compromise a glamorous strip tease. Popularised again by acts such as Dita Von Teese & Immodesty Blaise.

Beat — a short pause (measured intuitively, about one second) used for comic effect or to emphasise a pose.

Billing/Bill — The names of performers as displayed on a theatre’s marquee and in its advertising. A performer's status is indicated by the size and placement of their name (who is higher or more prominently billed).

Bit — A sketch, routine, trick, any segment of an act.

Bomb — To perform an act that gets embarrassingly little audience response.

Boston Version — a "cleaned-up" version of a routine, so called because Boston censors were very strict.

Break a Leg — the traditional backhanded expression wishing other performers a good performance. It’s considered that to wish someone luck will jinx the performance. Other Burlesque versions include: Snap A Sequin*, Break a nail & Pop a Pastie*

Breaking-in — when you are performing a new act but still tweaking it to get rid of any unseen issues.

Break Up — to lose your concentration so severely (often by being carried away with laughter) that you have to pause to recover. It is considered unprofessional, though it can be indulged in (even feigned) by comic performers to give the impression that the proceedings are funnier than they really are. 

Bump – to move the hips in a direction as though using them to close a car door.

C-String – A wired strip of material, curved to hold itself in place and cover a performers pubic area

Call — the time a performer is expected to be at the theater. "I have a 5pm call."

Capper — usually the last in a series of three jokes.

Chooser — A performer who "researches" his act by viewing other acts for the specific purpose of stealing material.

Civilians — People outside show business.

(to) Close — perform the last act after a star's performance ("I closed for Anna Fur Laxis in Glasgow").

Cold — A "cold" audience is in a bad mood an unwilling to cheer, applaud or play along. Or a performer may have the bill changed due to an emergency and have to perform "cold" (without adequate preparation). 

Cheesecake— refers to a deliberately old fashioned style ‘cute’ burlesque.

Counting the House — looking out into the house surreptitiously, to estimate the box-office success of the show.

Cover — to make up dialog and/or business to keep an act's continuity despite a mistake or accident onstage without breaking character or letting the audience become aware of the error.

Died — Played to perfunctory applause or none at all.

Disappointment Act — an act substituted for an advertised performer who could not appear.

Effect Finish — a finish getting its impact from the use of props or special effects (think of a baton twirler finishing with a bombastic display of flags, sparklers and lights.)

Excess Baggage — A vaudevillian's spouse who tours with the performer but does not perform.

Feature Spot — the top-billed act, the major advertised attraction.

Fans – Usually Over large feather fans used to play body peekaboo with the audience but alternatives such as Stained glass fans, Silk Fans or even dustbin lids have been used.

Finish — the finale of an act.

Flash Act — A generic act, usually along the lines of a classic fan dance or American style strip; something that could be booked on little notice and fit anywhere into the program without rehearsal, often as an emergency replacement.  

Flop — an act or show that utterly fails.

G-string — a narrow strip of fabric that covers a performers pubic area, the remainder supported by nearly-invisible strings, designed to circumvent narrowly-defined anti-nudity laws.

Gorelesque – A Cross betweenB & B-Movie gross out gore. Often includes side show aspects as well as blood, guts and pure hammor horror.

Grind – to rotate the hips slowly

Green Room — Not often available in venues, the "green room" is a quiet room (traditionally painted a restful shade of green) adjoining the stage where performers ready to go on await their calls to the stage.

Headliner — Star of the show whose named appeared most prominently on the bill and in the advertising, perhaps even "name above the title."

Heckler — An audience member who taunts the performer

House — The audience seating area. When the doors are opened to admit the audience, it is said that "the house is open," and it would be very unprofessional for a performer to be seen in that area (unless actually performing).

 (to) Kill — To be a complete success with the audience.

M.C. or Emcee — Master of Ceremonies; the person who introduces the performers.

Merkin - A narrow strip of fabric that covers a stripper's pubic area, either kept in place with Tape/glue or attached to a C-string.

Milking — Inducing (by body language or just continuing to stand on stage and "accept" applause) an audience to continue applauding long after they would ordinarily have ceased.

Miss Exotic World – The contest for burlesques best. Based in the States this sees performers from all over coming together to compete.

Neo-Burlesque –  refers to ‘New Burlesque’ a generic catch all term for burlesque created from the  1990’s onwards.

Pasties — Decorative patches, applied with adhesive, designed to barely circumvent anti-nudity laws forbidding showing nipples.Often come with tassels for twirling.

Pasties up – When an act starts to go wrong onstage. ‘It’s all gone Pasties up’.

Prop — Short for "property", any item onstage other than scenery.

Revue — Like a vaudeville show, a revue consists of sketches, songs, and comedians. However, instead of changing its acts weekly, a revue has a longer run, and the acts might be tied together with a central concept. Ziegfeld's Follies and Lou Leslie's Blackbirds of 1928 were some of the many revues.

Running Gag — A joke or physical bit which appears several times throughout the show, gaining momentum each time through its familiarity and through its appearance in a new context.

Sight Gag — A joke which conveys its humor visually.

Show Stopper — An bit or act that earns such wild applause that the performers must pause until the ovation quiets. Often prompts a brief reprise of the material or an encore number.

Sitting on their Hands — An audience resolutely refusing to applaud.

Sideshow burlesque – An act that combines traditional sideshow trickery with burlesque. Fire tricks and on stage magic are indicative of this style.

Slapstick — Knockabout physical comedy, named for the "slapstick," a bat-like paddle with a flap that emits a huge "slap" sound when struck.

Space invader – A performer who hogs space backstage. A band booked for the same event that leave all their gear onstage limiting room.

Spirit gum– used to secure pasties

Stage Door — The entrance from the street to backstage. A bulletin board located here holds a daily sign-in sheet, information about nearby hotels and restaurants for the benefit of traveling artists, and rules particular to that theater. There might also be a set of mailboxes for the performers to receive mail or notes from the producer

Stage Left — The side of the stage that is on the performer's left as he faces the audience. (Similarly, "stage right" is the other side.)

Stage Maid – The person charged with keeping track of all onstage props and items. They set up for each act and will appear onstage afterwards to collect any items left behind.

Stage Manager — The on the night boss of a burlesque show. They are responsible for keeping the show running smoothly  and in smaller shows often doubles up as the stage maid.

 Stealing a Bow — Reappearing on stage for another bow (tending to keep the audience politely applauding) when the volume of applause does not really warrant it. One way of "milking" applause.

Stooge — A comic aide to a comedian, often a performer who appears to a "volunteer" called up to help from out of the audience.

Tag Line — A short sentence used to sum up the performers style.

Take — A comedic facial reaction. A "double-take" is a "take" (usually depicting simply noticing something and starting to move on) followed by a quick return to the sight and a broad, shocked reaction to what you've just seen. A "spit take" is a reaction of such shock that the performer sprays out whatever he had been drinking or eating when the stimulus was received.

Tape – double sided/Toupee/Carpet tape An alternative to spirit gum– used to secure pasties

Tassels – Pasties with a Tassel attached for twirling.

Took the Veil — Retired from professional life. From the Catholic term for becoming a nun.

Topper — A joke that amplifies and gets extra energy from the previous joke.

Traditional burlesque – Used  to refer to either a traditional striptease or a satirical skit.

Upstage — Before the twentieth century stages were often "raked" or slanted, higher in the back than in the front. So ‘Upstage’ is towards the back. Downstage towards the front.

Walking off Cold — Flopping, leaving the stage at the end of your act while leaving the audience unimpressed. 

Wings — The areas offstage right and left, out of sight of the audience but clearly visible to performers onstage.

* Much love to Khandie Kisses & Jackie Martin Corban for suggesting additions.

I would love to keep adding to this, so please feel free to suggest any more wonderful weird words, phrases or ideas.

I've recently had a flurry of e-mails asking advise about burlesque
names and help on choosing one.

Your stage name has to do quite a lot for a name. You have to like it,
it should be memorable and above all it should be unique (please google
every combination in a variety of spellings - as you can be assured that
fans won't always remember how to spell your name and you'd be amazed at
what could come up). 

Some ground rules:

1) There are a lot of performers out there and it is very easy for the
public to get confused among all the newbies calling themselves ' Kitty,
Dolly and Rose" same goes for wannabe Scarletts, Cherry, Rubys and most
variations on the colour Red. Sure you can use them, but you'll have to
work four times as hard to stand out with your acts. 

2) An homage? More like straightforward rip off - and not a bright move.
Calling yourself after a famous performer from the past is a bad idea.
You're not going to compare favourably - no matter how good you are.
They may well still be alive (and you do not want to piss those ladies
off). And anyone typing the name into search engines is going to be
easily confused by the variation in results.
Same goes for anyone even thinking of 'borrowing a name'. One of the easiest 
ways to piss off a promoter, and audience and the rest of the scene. 
Always google & facebook to double check it really isn't already being used.

So much comes into finding the right name, the personality you
want to project, the type of performances you want to do, they way you
look and act. E-mailing me and asking if it's a good name isn't really
the way to go about finding your perfect one. I can tell you which one I
prefer but without meeting you I can't tell you if it suits you or your
style. 

One piece of advice I can give, is play with word association. Think of
the character your creating and then brainstorm words & descriptions.
Take a break and when you return see which ones jump out at you. Grab a
thesaurus and comb through if you need help. Then add in your favourite
names and see which ones work together. A glass of wine and a friend
with a sense of humour will help, 

It is hard to find 'your name'. Some people  find their name -
and know that's the one. Others try out names and then grow into them
and others find they've been given the perfect name.
Plenty of performers have started out with one name and ended with another
 so don't feel that you have to live with the one you chose.

Oh and my last piece of advice - the one I wish I'd known? Ask a drunk guy to pronounce it.
If it passes then you should be safe from most compares renaming you.

For more tips on finding your name visit http://resources.ministryofburlesque.com/questions/27/How+Do+I+Choose+A+Burlesque+Name%3F